Hold The Space

This is a term I use a lot. It is something we do, consciously or unconsciously and if we are not doing it; it is because we are too involved in ourselves and do not sense the need in those around us. It is something that our Horses do for us, for them it is something they do innately, perhaps they understand that it’s a part of their healing influence this lifetime and comes to them naturally.

When I use the term ‘Hold the Space’ I am referring to being present in the space of someone or an animal that has experienced turmoil, violence, confusion, grief, disappointment or disconnect of any kind. When we Hold the Space, we are there for the sole (Soul) purpose of providing a safe space for them. So, they may feel, express or try to understand; to process and restore balance.

This is not the time to try and fix anything, not the time to give advice or judge. We simply need to be there for THEM. At that time, we are a soft place for them to land, a place for them to take a deep breath and know that ‘here with us’ they are safe, that someone has their back and they can safely process the feelings through their body and release them. Instead of holding on to that energy and keeping it as an unhealthy addition to their identity; they can let go, and they will not stockpile the effects of this damage in their psyche or their body.

As horse people we often use our Horse to Hold the Space for us. If we have had a bad day at work or a relationship, if our dreams have been trampled. When we cannot make sense of things or we are feeling dismissed or de-valued, we go to our Horse(s) and seek solace and restoration through them. The mere ritual of grooming can bring a release from the assaults on our hearts, our minds and our emotions, we can slow down the barrage of adverse energy that has rattled us and left us reeling. We must take care to not take out our hurt and frustration on our Horse, and if we use our Horse to ride back to equilibrium, we must be mindful to ride with the intention to recover and not punish for the events of the day.

Likewise, our Horses may need us to Hold the Space for them. They may have conflict within the herd, unjust expectations from us, the vet, the farrier, the barn manager or the trainer. Some of their basic needs may not be met, they may be off balance because of frustration in the lack of correct communication with us. Though we may not have the answers, we can answer by simply Holding the Space for them. Be with them with no expectations, cancel your agenda, let them adjust, process and regroup. Hold the Space so that they can release the angst and stress that has shattered their calm. And in your quiet support they can regain harmony with their Body, Mind and Spirit.

Horse or Human we sometimes need someone to Hold the Space for us. When we are incapable of making sense of things or maintaining our balance; when we cannot see the answers because our core has been shaken from disappointment, grief or abuse. When we have a dream or a desire that seems it will never come to pass, we need someone to Hold the Space for us, to help us keep Faith, to help us Believe that Life is forgiving and we will have another chance at our great Desire. We cannot always do life alone, we sometimes need someone to Hold the Space.

The Invitation

Try and recall when you have Held Space for your Horse, or your Horse has Held Space for you. If you are new at this, practice ‘reading’ your Horse. Is your Horse receptive and open to you? Is it evasive and detached? If so, energetically/intuitively create a safe and inviting space around the two of you, see if your Horse will tune in to this energy space. See if your Horse will Hold Space for you when you Intuitively ask. Sometimes we ‘get more’ when we ‘give more’ to the Horse. Stand present and committed in the company of your Horse, quiet and open, ask your Horse to be present, notice any changes in posture or attitude, notice the breath. Look for images, feelings or ideas during this conversation.  

Thanks for joining me and until next time,

Vibe With Your Tribe…. Delaya

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